Flourishing Fathers

In recent research the role and definition of flourishing has become central in describing human behavior.  Having a positive and optimum context to experience life contributes to human flourishing.  Similarly, fathers who are flourishing find purpose and meaning in their role as dads and are regularly involved in their child’s life, consistent in their fathering practices, aware of the challenges and opportunities their child is facing, and tend to be more nurturing, both verbally and physically.

In addition, fathers who are flourishing have identified sources of financial and physical support to care for their family, as well as having a supporting spouse, or others who are correspondingly engaged in the rearing and growth of their child.  A flourishing father is more likely to have a supportive community of peers who are also engaged as fathers and are often involved in the moral and spiritual development of their child.  

In the continuum of father involvement, flourishing fathers are significantly more involved in their child’s daily life, routines and education.  In contrast of having limited access to their child or uninvolved, they are “engaged” and will sacrifice time in pursing their own activities to gain more time with their child.  Flourishing fathers are intentional and have positive interactions with their child on a daily basis.  These fathers are mindful of becoming over-attached or enmeshed in their child’s life at the expense or being distant or uninvolved with their child’s mother.  

With respect to consistency and predictability, fathers who are flourishing maintain a steadfast level in expressing their fathering routines and personal characteristics.  His children know what to expect from him.  Flourishing fathers are not rigid, or adopt patters of behavior that are unmovable.  As their children mature, they are able to adapt to the individual nuances of their child’s behavior and be open to change.  They are diligent in fulfilling their fathering role even when it costs them or they have to put in extra effort to maintain steadiness.

Flourishing fathers who are aware are also connected and in communication with other people who know their child, and are seen as partners in their development.  They are seeking information about their child’s daily experiences, growth needs and characteristics, but not intrusively.  Flourishing fathers are discerning, and know how the events in their child’s life are being processed and perceived.  These dads are able to understand their child’s interpretation of the events in their lives in the context of their level of development.

A flourishing father is nurturing and able to respond to the emotional needs of their child.  In contrast to being unresponsive, flourishing fathers are attentive and proactive in offering affirmation, encouragement and comfort to their child.  They initiate the giving of recognition for their children’s qualities and achievements.  They readily reach out with generous positive responses and perceptions, but avoid smothering comments of false praise.  Flourishing fathers are gentle in giving guidance and do not harshly criticize their child.

The ICAN’S of flourishing fathers is a self-reported inventory designed to assess your fathering practices.  The 50 items which comprise the assessment have been tested, with high reliability, and used by thousands of fathers.  The ICAN’S inventory will give you feedback on the foundational dimensions of fathering.  In addition, having your spouse, child’s mother, or another supportive person evaluate your fathering practices by taking the inventory will give you valuable feedback and add validity in your efforts to be a flourishing father.      

To receive the proprietary survey tools associated with the ICAN inventory, sign up for the next Train the Trainer Introduction Webinar.

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