The Adventure of Adoption: Facing the Unknown with a Father’s Heart

Sometimes fatherhood begins with a question—not just about names or nursery paint colors, but about identity, legacy, and love. For many dads, adoption raises a flood of “what ifs.” What if I don’t feel bonded? What if my child isn’t like me? What if he or she struggles with identity? These are honest, weighty questions. And they can be overwhelming.

For one dad, applying for a job overseas stirred up fears he didn’t expect. But nothing shook him more than the leap of faith involved in adopting a child. The journey was packed with anticipation, paperwork, and anxiety—especially as those “what ifs” loomed large.

What if my child is nothing like me?
It’s common for dads to want to see a reflection of themselves in their kids—shared interests, matching talents, even physical traits. A father may wonder: Will he love what I love? Will she take after me? But the truth is, even biological children are full of surprises. Teaching elementary school made that abundantly clear—siblings could be night-and-day different, regardless of shared DNA. Recessive genes can mask any visible link, and personalities are their own adventure.

Whether a child shares genes or not, every son or daughter is a unique masterpiece. And in time, dads often find themselves cheering on the soccer sidelines just like any other parent—bonded not by blood, but by love and commitment.

What if I can’t love a stranger?
Love isn’t always instant. Marriage often begins with years of building trust and affection. But adoption sometimes asks a dad to love a child he’s never met—or who hasn’t even been born. That’s where the heart begins to grow.

For adoptive parents, the process itself is a kind of labor. Medical exams. Interviews. Endless forms. Meetings with attorneys. And in many cases, the incredible generosity of friends and family helps cover the cost. Though a mother may not carry the child in her womb, adoptive parents often carry that child in their hearts long before the first hug.

When the moment finally comes—the first time a dad holds his new son or daughter—all the questions fade. The unknown is now a name. The fear is now love.

What if my child struggles with being adopted?
Some questions can’t be answered in advance. Many adopted children, especially as teenagers, wrestle with identity or connection. That’s real. And that’s why intentional fathers take action early—by telling the story of love from the beginning.

Keeping a journal can be a powerful gift. One dad recorded everything: conversations with birth parents, moments of laughter and tears, and the message that adoption was an act of deep love—not abandonment. He wrote about the joy his son brought, the daily ways their family grew together, and the prayers that surrounded their journey.

It’s a living record of love, ready to meet future questions with past truths.

The “If Only” Trap
Even after adoption, doubts can creep in—especially with big changes. One couple prepared to welcome three more boys into their home, and a whole new army of “what ifs” attacked. But they learned something valuable along the way:

“What ifs” are part of life. They can be faced. They can be overcome.
“If onlys” are regrets that cannot be undone.

Every dad must decide whether to face the unknown or live in the shadow of the past. And in the end, stepping into fatherhood—whether by birth or adoption—is always worth it.

The Real Discovery

The overseas job never happened. But fatherhood did. And what began as a fearful step into the unknown became the truest home—a land of laughter, lessons, and love.

‍