Fathering
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How to Build Your Daughter Up with Just a Few Words a Day

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Here’s my list of things to always, under all circumstances, and as often as possible say to your daughter if you want to be a dailed-in dad.

What TO say to your daughter:

  • What did I ever do to deserve such an incredible daughter like you?!
  • Do you know how grateful I am to be your dad?!
  • You look so beautiful today.
  • You get prettier with each passing year.
  • You’re right, I don’t understand you right now but I want to understand. Can you help me understand?
  • I’m here for you no matter what. Any time, day or night, I will do my best to be available. You can text or call me when I’m at work or out of town and I’ll figure out a way to respond as soon as I can.
  • I want you to know that I enjoy you.
  • You are going to make a great wife and mother some day (if you choose that).
  • I’ve seen so much growth in you… (List specifics.)
  • Tell me what you’re learning in school (or at work). I’d love to hear.
  • What was good about your day today?
  • What was hard about your day today?
  • God broke the mold when He made you! You are one of a kind!
  • You are completely unique and gifted. (List specifics.)
  • I love you just the way you are.
  • You could never disappointment me no matter what you do or don’t do, because I love you unconditionally.
  • What a treasure you are. Any guy who gets to date you (or eventually marry you) is a very lucky man.
  • In my eyes, you are the best of the best.
  • I am so proud of you.
  • I like who you are.
  • I love you.
  • You are amazing!
  • I look forward to our dates where we get to spend time together, just you and me.
  • I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
  • I want you to know that no matter what, I will always be your main man.

Now, dads, these are positive and uplifting, but that doesn’t mean they’re always easy to say. It will likely require some hard work and intentionality to really dial in to your daughter’s heart space. If you haven’t been consistently speaking these kinds of positive statements in the past, she might doubt your sincerity. Or maybe the words will feel strange coming out of your mouth. Still, those aren’t reasons to give up. As we all know …

Nothing worthwhile and valuable is ever easy.

Hard work is required in your career world, and this is all about bringing your best work ethic home.

Remember that your view of her—based on the thoughts and impressions communicated from your mouth to her ears—is paramount to the view she carries about herself now and throughout her life.

Carry this list in your pocket or on your phone, and look for opportunities to speak one positive statement to your daughter every day over the course of the next month.

Watch what happens in her as a result … and in you.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

Questions to Consider

  • Which phrase in the list felt the hardest for you to say? Why do you think that is?
  • Which phrase would your daughter most need to hear from you right now? Say it today.
  • Are you modeling healthy emotional expression in your home—or avoiding it? What’s one step forward?
  • Ask your daughter: “What’s something I say (or don’t say) that makes you feel loved?” Listen closely.
  • Start a dad-daughter journal. Leave notes back and forth once a week to build trust and open communication.