Before the Baby Comes: Gather the Dads, Share the Stories

When a man is about to become a father, the transition can feel monumental—and disorienting. Friends and acquaintances often offer humorous jabs: “Get your sleep now!” or “Nice knowing you!” These one-liners, while meant in jest, rarely ease a dad’s heart. What’s really needed is something deeper.

For many new dads, the preparation process quickly becomes a frantic search for answers in parenting books, baby care manuals, and gear checklists. Practical tools like Be Prepared: A Practical Guide for New Dads offer welcome step-by-step strategies—how to swaddle, change a diaper, burp, bathe, or bottle-feed a newborn. These are helpful—and necessary. But they're not enough.

Something more essential is often missing: stories.

The Power of Stories

In the days leading up to childbirth, many moms are surrounded by strong circles of wisdom and encouragement. Baby showers turn into sacred spaces, and gatherings like Red Tent parties offer emotional preparation and spiritual support through shared experiences.

Dads often don’t have the same kind of space.

But they need one.

Chip and Dan Heath, in their book Made to Stick, explain why stories matter so much. They highlight how firefighters gather after shifts to tell stories—not just for fun, but as a kind of “mental flight simulator.” These stories help the whole crew process, prepare, and react better to new challenges. In the same way, stories from other fathers help expectant dads build instinct, confidence, and mental readiness.

Creating a Fathers Assembly

One way to meet this need is to host a Fathers Assembly—a gathering where veteran dads share their journey with someone who’s about to step into fatherhood.

It’s simple:

• Cook a big meal (a chili night works well).
  
  
• Invite a group of trusted fathers from your church, neighborhood, or friend group.
  
  
• Ask them to bring one story:
  
  
  
  • A story about becoming a father.
    
    
  • A lesson learned on a midnight feeding.
    
    
  • A moment when fatherhood changed their marriage.
    
    
  • Or a memory of the man who shaped their own fathering approach.
    
    

Encourage real talk. No lectures. No boasting. Just raw, honest, meaningful moments.

What Happens When Men Share

In one such gathering, the stories flowed freely:

• A teenage dad waiting in the maternity lobby because no one thought he could help.
  
  
• A new father guarding his weary wife from well-meaning but overwhelming guests.
  
  
• A dad who learned—on bottle duty at 3 a.m.—that fatherhood is more of a marathon than a sprint.
  
  
• A man who paused a block away from home each night after work to reset his attitude before walking in the door.
  
  

Stories like these don’t just transfer knowledge. They provide solidarity. They whisper, “You’re not the only one who’s felt this way.” And for many new fathers, that’s the permission they need to let go of perfection and embrace presence.

A Sacred Circle

To close the evening, one simple but powerful tradition brings it all together: the circle of prayer. The gathered fathers lay hands on the new dad, praying for him, his wife, and their baby. It’s not flashy. But it's unforgettable.

Those prayers may not answer every question, but they do something far more valuable: they remind the dad-to-be that he’s not alone. Others have felt unsure. Others have figured it out. And he will too.

The Takeaway

Advice has its place—but stories stick.

Want to support a new dad? Skip the clichés. Share a story.

Better yet, start your own Fathers Assembly. Cook a meal. Create a space. Tell the truth. Pray.

And in the process, pass down something no manual can provide: the strength of a fatherhood brotherhood.

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