Where are you in your relationship with your father? Surely some of you reading today don’t want to think about your dad because there’s too much pain there. Maybe you’re thinking, What good would it do? Others have a good relationship with dad, but there’s a lot of room for improvement.
There can be great rewards for courageously wading into those deep waters. You might find healing from painful memories; you may have an opportunity to forgive your father, which is just as important for you to do as it is for him to receive; and you might even build a better relationship with him, which will bring tremendous benefits to you and your children that you probably can’t even imagine right now.
Giacomo Knox knows from personal experience the pain and damage inflicted on children when their father is absent from their lives. He’s also learning about the healing of reconciliation. He has created a new series of reality “webisodes” called “A Week with My Father.”
The first one begins: “My name is Giacomo Knox. I’m 39 years old, and I’m going to spend a week with my father. I’m going to meet a perfect stranger, for the most part. It’s been 33 years ….” In this video project, he willingly opens up his own personal journey and search for answers. In the process, he also hopes to teach men how to take that first big step toward reconciliation and healing with their dads. Here is the trailer for “A Week with My Father”:
It’s really up to you, but like Giacomo found, dealing with the past is often the best way to find healing. (And we recommend that you get help from a qualified professional if there are heavy issues to work through.)
- Take time to list some of the ways your father influenced you—good and bad—with the goals of better understanding him, reconciling with him and/or building a stronger relationship.
Do you have a good relationship with your dad? You can still make an effort to schedule activities with him and affirm him for what he has done for you.
Give your dad plenty of opportunities to be engaged in your children’s lives. Tell him you appreciate his influence on them.
Has your father passed on? Talk about your joys and regrets regarding him with your wife or a close friend.
Follow through on an everyday activity that you know your child enjoys—nothing extravagant, just something simple that will help build a strong, lasting relationship.
– The Heart of a Father by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.
– Questions For My Father by Vincent Staniforth
– To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father by Donald Miller
– When Your Father Dies by Dave Veerman & Bruce Barton
– Fatherloss by Neil Chethik