On the day David's son turned twenty-two, David was uneasy and distracted. You see, he was twenty-two when his own father died. Now all those emotions were coming back, along with a sense that he was in uncharted waters. He later told me, "I suddenly realized that I no longer knew how to father. I didn't have a model for fathering a 22-year-old son."
My Losing Season is a book by Pat Conroy revealing the true story behind his novel, The Great Santini, which was made into a film in 1980, starring Robert Duval. That movie has often been used as an example of how abusive fathering can forever mark a family. In the story, a marine officer repeatedly beats and ridicules his son, and ultimately commits suicide.
In their book, When Your Father Dies, Dave Veerman and Bruce Barton map out the behind-the-scenes processing that a man experiences when his father dies. Neither author fully grasped the pain and anguish associated with “father loss” until their dads passed on.
In 1979, President Jimmy Carter set aside the first Sunday after Labor Day to honor grandparents. The official proclamation made a convincing argument for this holiday:
We can’t afford to let our children learn about sex on their own. It may be awkward, but we’ve got to be open with both our sons and daughters to affirm them toward healthy sexuality.
As fathers, we need to speak up against all inappropriate sexual behavior. It’s an important area where we need to help protect our children.
Are you getting ready for that big birds-and-the-bees talk, dad? That talk is important, but you can’t stop there.
“Today’s men are obsessed with money, greed and sex. We will talk about the first two, somewhat, but the last one we avoid.” So writes author Archie Wortham. Wortham believes dads need to talk to other men about the challenges they have faced or are facing as men, then they’ll be better prepared to help their sons mature.”
In a 2006 article, Orlando Sentinel columnist Kathleen Parker addressed America's "boy crisis." Many have recently drawn attention to statistics showing that boys are falling behind in school performance. Parker responded to a recent study which concluded that the problem is really more about class and race, since the problem is most severe in Hispanic, African American, and poor communities.
A deluge of recent studies makes it clear that boys are vulnerable. They are falling behind in many key areas: SAT scores, reading proficiency and college attendance; and moving ahead in some undesirable statistics: emotional disturbance, school dropout and suicide rate.
Some moments you and your son will remember forever.
You're out in the country with your fourteen-year-old son, coming back from someone's house. You pull the car over to the side of the deserted dirt road and turn off the ignition. "Dad, what's going on?" your son asks.
Sometimes—especially with sons—you have to "play hardball." If you're a father of boys, you have my prayers. They'll make you proud, but they also may make you crazy.
No argument, communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. But for some men, the notion of sitting down for some extended sharing time with their wives is intimidating. Not that we have an excuse—our wives need to hear from us often about our lifelong devotion to...
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. I'm a better father because of my wife, Dee. And, you can be a better father because of your wife. Many years back, when Dee and I were living in Vancouver, British Columbia, we were walking along the hills by the shore with our two daughters,...
On Father's Day you may get another "interesting" tie, the latest golf gadget or a pair of wild boxer shorts. And then your kids may do something that really makes you feel like a king. Soak it all in, because you deserve it and it's good for your children to honor...
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. A growing number of researchers and professionals recognize the importance of family history as they seek to better understand human behavior. When I speak to groups of dads, I often bring up generational family issues to try to help them gain a...
For the record: You don’t have to plow up your corn and build a baseball field to reconcile with your father. The climactic scene of the movie Field of Dreams offers a powerful portrayal of reconciliation between father and son. With each toss of the baseball and...
What’s standing between you and forgiveness? Recent scholarly research confirms what many already know—that forgiving others is a valuable gift for ourselves. Research shows that when we forgive, we have less stress, anger, and other psychosomatic symptoms like...
On the day David's son turned twenty-two, David was uneasy and distracted. You see, he was twenty-two when his own father died. Now all those emotions were coming back, along with a sense that he was in uncharted waters. He later told me, "I suddenly realized that I...
My Losing Season is a book by Pat Conroy revealing the true story behind his novel, The Great Santini, which was made into a film in 1980, starring Robert Duval. That movie has often been used as an example of how abusive fathering can forever mark a family. In the...
In their book, When Your Father Dies, Dave Veerman and Bruce Barton map out the behind-the-scenes processing that a man experiences when his father dies. Neither author fully grasped the pain and anguish associated with “father loss” until their dads passed on. In...
In 1979, President Jimmy Carter set aside the first Sunday after Labor Day to honor grandparents. The official proclamation made a convincing argument for this holiday: Grandparents are our continuing tie to the near-past, to the events and beliefs and experiences...
How important is it for you, as a father, to talk honestly and openly with your children about sex? We've heard too many stories of children whose fathers completely ignored this area of their lives, and who struggled because of it. We can't afford to let our children...
One New Year’s weekend, three girls in their early teens were walking home from a neighborhood store. As they approached their subdivision, a young man about 18 years old exposed (flashed) himself to them. They hurried home, shocked by what occurred. One girl’s father...