The Championship Fathering blog by Carey Casey
What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard about a husband doing for his wife? I’ve heard some good ones through the years, and one of the best happened about three years ago, from a couple in Canada, Devin and Crystal. (And it wasn’t even on Valentine’s Day.)
Devin is a Navy seaman who said good-bye to his wife for an eight-month deployment to the Middle East. I know that happens all the time; still, I can’t imagine it!
Later that day his bride, Crystal, went to work and received a bouquet of flowers with a note from her husband. The note gave instructions for a surprise waiting for her at home, which turned out to be a small box hidden in the closet.
Inside the box were 241 envelopes, one for each day Devin anticipated that he’d be gone. Each one contained a short love note for Crystal.
One note said, “Last night I looked up into the sky, gazing at the stars. I began to match each star with a reason why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.”
Another note said, “When I’m near you, I’m a better man. And when you’re away, I’m only half the man I want to be.”
Crystal began each day reassured of how much Devin loves her and he’s thinking about her, then she kept the note with her throughout the day. She said that, other than the fact that it made her miss him even more, it’s the greatest thing he could have done for her.
And just in case you’re wondering, the couple was reunited, at least for a while, about eight months later.
Now, Devin is one thoughtful husband. He certainly puts me to shame. How about you?
As you read about how much these notes meant to Crystal, doesn’t it make you think you could do more to show your bride how much she means to you? You may not be able to do what Devin did, but you can do something.
Maybe clever romantic phrases don’t come naturally to you. Still, I believe most of us can do better at showing appreciation and love for our brides. It might not be easy at first, but I know it’s worth the effort. A stronger marriage has all kinds of benefits to us and to our children, and we need to do our part by being more thoughtful and romantic for our brides.
So how can husbands break out of the boring routine? Maybe start with a simple note to tell her why you appreciate her. Or get her something small that you know she enjoys—just to let her know you were thinking of her. Then keep thinking about her, and look for inspiration. If you need help, there are great resources with all kinds of romantic ideas—such as the ones here and here and here.
Keep in mind that this can’t just be a big gesture in February; it has to be a regular, ongoing thing.
I know Devin’s example has inspired me. Let’s all pledge to look for new ways to make our brides feel special and loved.
What’s the most romantic thing you’ve heard about recently? Or what’s the most romantic thing you have done for your wife? Please join the discussion at our Facebook page.
- Ask your wife about the times when she felt most cherished, and come up with some similar things you can do during the coming weeks and months.
- Next time you have to be apart for a few days or weeks, leave thoughtful or romantic notes or small gifts for her to find.
- Schedule some time away … just the two of you.
Carey Casey is the CEO of the National Center for Fathering (NCF), as well as a husband, father, and grandfather. He is author of Championship Fathering and general editor of The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge. See more about Carey here.
NCF is a nonprofit organization seeking to improve the lives of children and establish a positive fathering and family legacy that will impact future generations by inspiring and equipping fathers and father figures to be actively engaged in the life of every child. We encourage you to help us change the culture of fathering in America by joining the Championship Fathering Team. You can also sign up for NCF’s Today’s Father Weekly email here.