Love is more than cuddling by a fireplace. Actually, sometimes it's the opposite of staying warm and toasty.
The current generation of fathers has been decimated by the tragedy of divorce. Many men saw their parents divorce, and some have been through a divorce themselves. These men have often told us that they wish they had seen a good marriage in action when they were young. They had a deep desire to see a committed, loving relationship between the two people they loved the most, and they are still missing that model now that they have children of their own.
You love your children; you deeply desire to see them grow up healthy and happy. But what is the most important thing you can give your children to help them grow up feeling loved, nurtured, self-confident and at peace?
"Who has helped you the most in your fathering?" We asked that very question to thousands of men as part of our research. Some answered, "My father" or "My pastor." Several mentioned Dr. James Dobson. But the most popular answer by far was, "My wife." And when we asked, "Who helps you overcome struggles in your fathering?" the number one answer was, again, "My wife."
The Williams family was at it again. Mom accused Dad of being rude to her that morning, and Dad denied it. His memory, he claimed, was much more accurate than hers. Mom said he was crazy—if he couldn't even remember to put up the toilet seat, how could he claim to remember the fight?! Dad exploded in anger, and mom said he was acting just like his father. Dad yelled that she was stupid and overweight.
Remember your dating days—those long walks, romantic dinners, and intimate conversations that were the milestones of falling in love? Those moments full of emotion and closeness became the foundation for your marriage relationship.
One of the best things a father can do for his kids is love their mother and build a strong marriage. The effort you put into your marriage is worth it to your children.
Do you think of your wife as a teammate? This is not like when she feeds the kids, changes their diapers, dresses them and then gives them to you to play with. That's hardly teamwork.
In an effort to find out what really makes women feel appreciated, wanted, and loved, authors Lucy Sanna and Kathy Miller surveyed women from ages 20 to 70, using over 100 questions. The responses they received were not generally surprising, but they can serve as reminders to us husbands and fathers.
No argument, communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. But for some men, the notion of sitting down for some extended sharing time with their wives is intimidating. Not that we have an excuse—our wives need to hear from us often about our lifelong devotion to them.