Recent research highlighted in the Wall Street Journal sheds light on some reasons for the roller-coaster ride of adolescence–and it's all about the brain.
The Hug That Changed My Life
A Father Re-Connects With His Daughter
Fathering IS Child’s Play
With fathers, sensitivity in play was the best predictor of long-term attachment, even surpassing the security that a mom provides for an infant or toddler.
What I Have Instead …
I fantasize about the life my wife and I would have if we were free to travel wherever we wanted. If we were free to go out to dinner together, see a movie, go to museums without worrying about who is watching our children and feeling guilty for leaving. The time we would have to actually talk, share our lives, getting to know each other all over again. I imagine we would be doing so many fun and interesting things together rather than arguing over how we will figure out where to live and how to afford it while sending our kids to school for the first time. The stress of having children, trying to do what’s best for them, providing for them is a dominating force in our relationship. Without that, I can only imagine what our relationship would be like. Becoming a parent really has changed everything and there are times when I’m left wondering about all that I am missing.
Time: Are You Spending or Investing?
As dads, we choose how to invest every minute of our time, and our children are clearly one of the highest-yield investments.
A Commitment to Give More to Family
Cameron Stracher is a busy working dad. He's a law professor in New York who also does legal work, with a long commute to and from work every day. Several years ago, he found himself feeling "over-extended, over-committed and physically exhausted," and very out-of-touch with his family.
The Art of Fatherhood
Reprinted with permission from: www.TheFatherLife.com.
As a single father of a twelve-year old boy, I am beginning to understand that fatherhood really is an art. Among other things I am learning that as much as I'd like to continue the semi-dictatorial regime that once ruled my home, the future is turning out to be much more democratic. My soon-to-be-teenager has regime changes in mind and is becoming less and less receptive to "because I said so" and more inclined toward a participatory form of parenting and decision-making—one that sometimes stretches the limits of my imagination as well as my patience and puts everything I thought I knew to the test.
“Dad, I wish you would …”
We asked teen girls for their responses to this statement concerning their dads. Their responses will challenge you as a father.
Discipline Lessons from a Speeding Ticket
People attending our events have requested more practical information on discipline, and we know all dads (and moms) will benefit from the practical ideas presented by Dr. Bob Barnes. He teaches that children learn best from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions, and it's pointless for parents to get caught up in power struggles with their kids.
Great Fathers Make Good Neighbors
The teen years can be the best of times and the worst of times. At no other time in your child's life can things be more trying. One common mistake made by loving parents is that they don't give teens enough responsibility soon enough. Too often parents don't trust the values they have instilled over the years, so they attempt to force values on their children in adolescence, and the children rebel.
Welcoming Young Dads to the Fatherhood Party
In the mid-1990's, I was a dad of a teenage daughter and three other children under ten. Through my involvement in various fatherhood events in the Seattle area, I heard about the "Welcome To Fatherhood Party" from a dad named Griggs Irving. The idea came to him when his 32-year-old daughter was happily planning for a baby shower and his fatherly thoughts turned towards his son-in-law. What about Steve? He’s about to be a new dad. What could be done for him? he thought.
How is your job impacting your fathering?
A recent survey by CareerBuilder confirms the challenge among working dads to navigate the demands of work and family life. According to the survey, 38% of working dads, if given the choice, would take a pay cut to spend more time with their kids. Nearly one in four working dads (24 percent) feel work is negatively impacting their relationship with their children. Forty-eight percent have missed a significant event in their child's life due to work at least once in the last year, and nearly one in five (18 percent) have missed four or more. Thirty-six percent of working dads say their company does not offer family-friendly work arrangements such as flexible schedules, telecommuting, job sharing and more.
Categories
Welcome to the fathers.com fathering library.
On the left you will see how our blogs and articles are categorized. Choose your stage in the fathering journey under Your Kids, click on a specific situation that applies to you, or browse through the items in our hot topics and fathering fundamentals. Also, check out Tools for the Journey – short downloadable pieces with tips for specific challenges.
Two Essays from Fatherless Kids
Kids need dads, and we can always find proof in some of the essays written for our annual Father of the Year Essay Contest. In the midst of the all happy sentiments we receive, these essays are reminders that many kids out there don’t have a father in their lives. The...
Encourage Other Dads
Rusty is a friend of ours who has a passion for helping prison inmates. He recognized the overwhelming trend of fatherlessness among inmate fathers and took simple action to try to help. Some time ago, he began printing off copies of our weekly fathering e-mails and...
Loving Your Kids: “You Just Don’t Get It”
Dad, do you get it? Or are you missing it? Darren and his wife sat in the living room watching a video their son had created with some of his classmates. It was quite good, and as soon as it ended, Darren’s wife gushed about how impressed and proud she was of her son....
Is my child ahead … or behind?
How well do you know your child's developmental needs? A study at the University of Rochester discovered that about one-third (31.2%) of parents of 9-month-olds are "clueless" about child development milestones, such as when babies talk, learn right from wrong, or can...
A Fathering Insight … from Your Dog?
A recent study among college students looked at their relationships with various significant others, including their dads ... and their dogs. Several years ago, Dr. Larry Kurdek from Wright State University found that his two dogs were important sources of comfort...
What We All Can Learn from Stepdads
A study released earlier this year points out that being affirming and attentive is important for all dads, but particularly for stepdads. Researchers at the Institute of Education, University of London, found that stepdads are more likely than stepmoms to have...
The Mysterious Teenage Brain
Recent research highlighted in the Wall Street Journal sheds light on some reasons for the roller-coaster ride of adolescence--and it's all about the brain. On one hand, neuroscientists point out that the teenage brain is uniquely tuned to chemical highs and lows,...
The Hug That Changed My Life
A Father Reconnects With His Daughter by Randell Turner, Ph.D. It was the smell that triggered the memory. The odor enveloped my senses, propelling me into an emotional time warp. Forgotten scenes replayed the episode like...
Fathering IS Child’s Play
Research continues to reinforce the notion that children benefit from having playful fathers. One study in Germany several years ago examined specific ways in which fathers and mothers cultivate close attachments with their children during the early years, and which...
What I Have Instead …
by Jeremy Schneider I fantasize about the life my wife and I would have if we were free to travel wherever we wanted. If we were free to go out to dinner together, see a movie, go to museums without worrying about who is watching our children and feeling guilty for...
Time: Are You Spending or Investing?
by Ron Nichols There’s a common expression that we use all the time. It’s pretty harmless in itself, but as fathers we need to think differently with it. It’s the simple concept of spending time. We always say, “I spent a lot of time on that project,” or, “I spent 20...
A Commitment to Give More to Family
Cameron Stracher is a busy working dad. He's a law professor in New York who also does legal work, with a long commute to and from work every day. Several years ago, he found himself feeling "over-extended, over-committed and physically exhausted," and very...