Archive for May, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Anyone who has been a father and then a stepfather knows that they aren't the same. While many aspects of these two roles are similar, it is the unique ones that lead to disillusionment. Franklin put it this way: "I've been to every Promise Keepers conference and I've studied fathering with my men's group many times. But nothing has prepared me for being a stepfather. With my own kids I have a natural leadership authority that allows me to teach them and be directive. With my stepchildren I constantly feel like I’m one step behind, like I have to establish myself each time I engage them."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
One evening several months ago, my 9-year-old son Chance and I were heading up to his bedroom to do the tucking-in ritual, when we took a short detour to my study. It was just a few weeks after I had joined the National Center for Fathering, and my new business cards were on my desk. Chance saw them and asked if he could have one. I said, “Sure, Son,” and he picked one up.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Children in eleven U.S. cities are giving moving tributes to their fathers as they read their prize-winning essays during Father of the Year celebration events. Each essay has a story behind it, and Haley Hubbard, a 12th grader from Tulsa, brought the entire audience to tears as she stood with her stepfather and read this essay:
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Pre-teen and teenage kids can pose a tremendous challenge for stepfathers. As they develop their identity and self-esteem, they are very sensitive to dramatic changes in their family structure and living situations.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Whether you realize it or not, your stepfamily has likely assumed a specific integration style. By that, I mean a set of assumptions about how your stepfamily 'ought' to come together. I like to use cooking as an analogy to identify some integration styles that stepfamilies attempt to utilize. Let’s start with the ones that generally don't work.